Rifle Butts.

This is Dork. This post actually has nothing to do with rifle butts. Sorry to get your hopes up. It’s really about child labour. I don’t talk about child abuse. 

Just kidding. The purpose of this post is actually nonexistent. So hey. I’m Dork, and I have a few things to tell you about myself. These things, to your dismay, will not be my deepest darkest secrets. In fact, they won’t really be about me at all. They are simply about the concept of me, which is extremely awkward, so I would advise anyone who is prone to seizures to back away from the computer and go read a book or do something else less dangerous. Actually, don’t read a book. You might get a paper cut. Try sleeping instead. Or eating. Eating is always good. Unless you’re fat...but whatever. Anyway, back to  me. First of all, 

Sorry. I had to go get some tea. Where was I? Oh, yes, I remember now. And then the fish turns into a gorgeous prince and sings 

Oops. Wrong story. So I was talking about myself. One thing that is important for you to know is that when I am the person speaking (that is, Dork), this will be the font, and that is not my hat either. That is inappropriate, and I’m sorry. Please excuse my Creole. It will also be to your benefit to understand right now that I am ten thousand times cooler than Booger. Now that I have said nothing particularly wonderful, I will talk about Booger instead. 

Booger is my bestiest friend. She’s a super magical zombie, but I lurb her anyway. Booger is the awe to my some. Actually, Booger must actually be like a gangster or something else equally powerful because she knows me better than I know myself. She’s probably a Fairy. Whenever I feel all yicky and bad inside, she can hug me and talk to me and beat up the people who hurt my feelings and make it all better. (She can’t actually beat people up. She told me to say that.) So yes. Booger is my wonderful friend who makes it all better when skies are gray. She is the very definition of “my sunshine.” Love you, Booger friend! 

So yes. That’s about it. Aren’t you glad you just spent precious minutes of your life reading my magnificent words? 

...I didn’t think so. :c 

Oh well. Later. Toodles! 

- Dork